Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Doctors Successfully Replace Diseased Heart With iPhone4

Doctors at John's Hopkins Hospital saved the life of Marvin Crimm, 67, by using Apple's new iPhone 4 as a makeshift artificial heart. Crimm had been on the waiting list for a heart transplant, but could not match with a donor. Luckily for Crimm, his inevitable heart failure coincided with the launch of a sexy, dazzling new technology gadget that houses enough computing power to replace the human heart.

Crimm's savior was a young doctor named David Sloop - a self-acknlowledged 'tech head' who stood in line for nine hours to get his iPhone4. There were only two stores in all of Baltimore that were going to have the phone, so Sloop grabbed a sleeping bag and ended up second in line at the Towson Towne Centre Apple store - which had ten phones available for sale.

"Yeah, I like gadgets and internet stuff, and I'm a doctor, so I shelled out six hundred for the iPhone," Sloop said. "But I never thought it would help me pull off a medical miracle hours later."

That medical miracle came when Crimm's heart stopped - just seconds before Sloop started his night shift, still with the new iPhone in his pocket.


Crimm was rushed to the emergency room, where doctors raced to get the iPhone in place. "I knew the iPhone emitted a constant electrical charge of 1.25 voltz, which is precisely the same electric current of the human heart," Sloop recalled. "So I figured, if we could get this sucker implanted in the guy's chest, he just might have a chance to live. Of course, the battery life is only 8 hours of talk time, so he probably won't live too long."

Sloop said he took advantage of the many iPhone features during the surgery.

"The hi-def camera provided stunning photos of the chest cracking and internal bleeding. I snapped off some good ones that I'll post on Flickr later this week," Sloop said. "I had already preloaded some Nickelback and Puddle of Mudd into the iPod feature, so we were jamming the time his dead heart was being extracted. And the internet function is amazing."

Added Sloop:"I was blogging the whole time, right up until we sewed him up."

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